Tribal Drum Dance Yoga

I had various work demands this week that caused me to miss Monday and Wednesday night yoga...which meant that I was looking at class Tuesday and Friday only...unless I braved Internal Muscle Shift yet again!

So I went.  I carried on and on to Bill before this class about how I hoped it wasn't step aerobics for the first part because step aerobics reminds me of a dance class and I am awful at coordinated anything.

Well, it wasn't a step class.  IT WAS TRIBAL DRUM DANCING YOGA WHATEVER.

Eesh.  I am being totally honest when I tell you that any kind of dance related class scares the hell out of me and makes me very uncomfortable.  This is directly related to being kicked out of dance class when I was around 6 years old because I would ruin the rehearsal.  True story. 

Now, Kim is a former dancer and gym instructor, so dancing anything comes naturally to her.  She led us through some kind of squat sequence in time to drumming.  Not surprising at all, when everyone else was squatting and swaying to the right, I was swaying to the left.  Basically thats how the whole class went for me until the yoga portion.  Now, what is frustrating with this is that I was not really getting a great workout because I was too focused on being in time with everyone and not looking like an idiot.  I could feel my jaw tightening up and my head spitting out all kinds of awful words.

Then I told myself to stop.  Just stop it.  No one else in that yoga class cares if I am swinging my arms the wrong way - heck, the class is in a dark room and everyone else is too focused on themselves not looking like an idiot.  And truth be told, we all looked like idiots.  It was tribal drum dance yoga...for non-dancers. 

The class went much better after I got over myself and my hang ups.  Its funny how a memory, an old fear, can absolutely destroy you and your confidence unless you confront it, see it for what it really is - wasted energy holding you back.

* * *

This Monday is a holiday and Revelation will not be holding their regularly scheduled yoga classes.  Instead, Kim is cancelling the Awakening Yoga, Power Yoga and YinYang Yoga and is instead holding a 2 hour class at 9am.  I am assuming that this will be a mixed style class, but no promises.  If anyone would like to join me, please let me know!

Chisel

Last night I went to Power Yoga at Revelation and Scott was subbing in for Kim.  Scott tends to tell a lot of stories when he teaches, which is fine with me. I am not a yoga purist or a yoga snob...I find different instructors and different styles of teaching refreshing.  Last night's Scott story resonated with me so completely, I thought I would share it with you.

When traveling in India, Scott heard the story of a man who carved life sized elephants from single large pieces of stone.  This man was famous all over the country for these carvings, both for their size and their beauty.  The carver was once asked how he went about his craft, and his answer was as follows:

With the help of many men, friends possibly, they would drag which ever large stone was closest to the center of the village.  The carver would then spends days on end, just staring at the huge mass of rock until he would find what he was looking for...the elephant within the stone.  He would then chisel around the elephant, removing all the excess stone...in essence, releasing the elephant which was there all the time.

Scott talked about how, in yoga, we too are chiseling away at all of the extra stuff that has collected on us, in our minds, that is not truly who we are.  It is chiseling away the negative thoughts, the past experiences, the future anxieties.  It is freeing us from using others as a way of defining ourselves. The practice of yoga is chiseling away at all of that extra stuff in order to discover and release your true self.

Chisel away my friends.

I Need Some Ganesh Up In Here

That funky dude? That’s Ganesh. We’ll get to him.

Yesterday afternoon I went for a run. I was horrified when I realized I had forgotten my ipod at home and thus had no way of blocking out my thoughts on my run…and I have been having A LOT of thoughts lately. So many that I cannot stand to be in my head - and that is with all the yoga and mind calming exercises. I left for the run regardless and set out on my normal route – the loop that can be 3.5 miles with multiple hills and 4 miles with only one hill. At the top of the first hill, instead of continuing straight, which leads me to the normal routes, I took a left. I took the left with the intent of turning back. I was already walking by the time I reached the top of the hill and hating my hamstrings and my head, in no particular order.

I started running again at some point and was delighted to see that I had picked a cracked, root-lifted, falling apart sidewalk to run on. I am not being sarcastic – when I don’t have my head in the run, I like to be distracted by difficult terrain – whether that be sidewalks filled with people, roads with tons of cars and no sidewalks or crappy terrain - it keeps me entertained and makes the miles go by faster.

I chose an obstacle ridden path. On purpose. For fun. Obstacles are not always a bad thing. They force us to re-negotiate our path, to try harder or to change course completely. Outside of running, I have come up against some serious obstacles in my life recently. All of which I have created myself. These obstacles are the result of deliberate choices I have made which may have been right at the time but which now are obstacles waiting to be conquered…or not.

After my run yesterday I was reading this article about Ganesh. He is the bringer or taker of obstacles. I need Ganesh badly – the taker of obstacles Ganesh, preferably. Though I know that after these current obstacles are conquered or taken away, more will come to be in their place. That is totally okay – obstacles force us to re-evaluate, to make decisions and to grow. I hope Ganesh touches your lives as well, to help you grow where stagnant by putting obstacles in your way and by taking away those obstacles that are no longer necessary.

All Yoga, All The Time

I realized this weekend that I did not do a yoga post last week...which is astounding considering how much I have been practicing.  When I started this blog I was taking two 1 hour classes a week and trying to fit in 20 minute sessions on the other days...which totaled to about 3 hours or so a week.  Since I took up Revelation Yoga on their one month unlimited plan, I have basically been living in their studio.  Between Victoria's class and the time at Revelation and my limited home practice, I have been practicing about 6 hours a week for the last few weeks.  And this past week I was fortunate enough to attend Shabda Sunday (Sanskrit class), which brought my total practice time this week to 7.5 hours.  Craziness! 

So in case you missed the math there, I have managed to eek out an additional 4 or so hours out of my schedule to practice.  Where did all of this time come from?  Here is a look back at last week with a little discussion of the classes I attended.

Monday I did my New Rules workout during my break and then went to YinYang Gentle Yoga after work.  I am really loving this class.  I have went the last few Monday nights and plan to go again tonight.  It is 90 minutes of slow moving yoga with an emphasis on holding the poses for an extended period of time.  So no, this is not a sweat pouring off you kind of session but my muscles really appreciate the extended stretching and my mind appreciates the calmness of the practice.  It is the perfect start to the work week.

Tuesday I had a networking function after work so I had to miss Victoria's class.  I ran that afternoon for the first time in a long time though, so her class probably would have killed me ...but I would have went anyway.

Wednesday I was unable to take a break at work so no daytime workout.  That night I went to Power Yoga at Revelation.  This class is very similar to Victoria's in format - Vinyasa flow style.  The difference is that the Revelation studio is lightly heated and the class is 90 minutes instead of 60 minutes.  The class itself is tough and I am usually drenched in sweat after. 

Thursday I did my New Rules workout late in the day and really felt that I needed to be home before 8pm for the first time all week, so no yoga.  In theory I could have done a 20 minute (or more) practice when I got home...but I was tired.  So I listened to my body and took the night off.

Friday I went to Victoria's class at break time.  Work has been fairly hectic and I have had to miss this class lately.  It was nice to be back where I started my practice.  We also had some new students in the class...I love new students!  New students mean a different vibe in the room and a (usually much needed) reminder of the basics of some postures.

Saturday I decided to be insanely stupid and I went for a 7:30am run with my sister-in-law Meri followed immediately by the 9:00am Power Yoga class at Revelation.  I warned Kim of my run so that she wouldn't be concerned if I was spending 90 minutes in child's pose.  She gave me a packet of Emergen-C for my water bottle and checked in on my throughout the class.  Now, this is not the first time I have done back to back running and yoga...in fact, I have done it several times with Victoria's Tuesday night class.  But I haven't done it when its 85 and humid and I haven't done it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.  I survived the class. Lets just leave it at that.

Sunday there was no physical yoga practice...there was 2 hours of gardening.  And then there was Sanskrit class - which was great!  Sanskrit class is like physical yoga for the mind and soul.  I have really been practicing my sounds and studying my Sutras.  Jill led a great class and I was finally comfortable enough to ask more questions.  And Karendayal was there, which made it even more fun!  Familiar faces are the best!

So thats it - thats where I found the extra time I didn't know I had.  And it felt like no effort at all.  This is due, in large part, to the fact that Bill is super supportive of my practice and my time on the mat.  I'm talking supportive as in fills and chills my water bottle so I can swing in and grab it on my way to the studio.  Supportive as in makes my dinner while I am practicing and makes sure my favorite shows are recording.  Supportive as in encourages me to go to class instead of pouting because I'm home at 8:30 every night.  Without his support, I seriously doubt I would find all this extra time...so thanks Bill!

Still Sick

Remember when I said "Lesson Noted" and not "Lesson Learned"?  Well I continued that theme through the weekend.  I skipped Vinyasa class Friday in order to leave work early and get to the doctor's office.  Result?  Seventy-Six Dollars later I am officially diagnosed with Bronchitis, a Sinus Infection, some kind of throat issue/infection and ears almost at ear infection level and am the proud owner of multiple drugs.  Going to the doctor's is tough for me - I don't like to do it because: 1) it is expensive; 2) it is time consuming; and 3) it inevitably ends up with me having to take medicine.  I know that there are people who get by without medicines and I wish I was one of them.  I hate taking them - I am the poster child for side effects.

After the doctor's I picked up my meds and some stuff for dinner and went home, whined to Bill, ate a dinner I couldn't taste and watched Jaws 2.  All good - operation recovery in effect. 

Saturday morning I was up at 6:41am and off the the races!!  I couldn't sleep because of (insert one of a million illness symptoms here) so I got up to take my Cipro.  Woo!  Man does that stuff make me wired.   And Nauseous.  And thirsty.  And while setting up that there link I also read that it causes tendinitis in active people.  Awesome.  So I took the Cipro, made breakfast, read my book club book, worked in the garden and then hit a 9:00am 90 minute power yoga class at Revelation.  I was supposed to go running too but both my lungs and my doctor said no.

The yoga class was great - very tough and very hot.  I felt like I was going to throw up a few times but that was probably the Cipro more than anything else.  Otherwise I felt fine the whole class and worked up a ridiculous sweat.  I then headed home and cleaned the bathroom, including unclogging the drains. 

Then I crashed.  Big time.  My head was officially a big ball of ewww.  Still I couldn't rest.  I tried taking a nap...I think it was driving Bill crazy that I was simultaneously complaining about feeling like crap and running around like a mad woman.  I am not sure if that was caused by the Cipro, me or both.  I would guess both but I can blame the Cipro because apparently you are not supposed to combine it with caffeine or it makes you a nutcase:

"Do not drink or eat a lot of caffeine-containing products such as coffee, tea, energy drinks, cola, or chocolate. Ciprofloxacin may increase nervousness, sleeplessness, heart pounding, and anxiety caused by caffeine."


I am pretty sure I had my usual 4-5 cups of coffee on Saturday.  I probably should have read the warnings first. 

Oh and I ended the night by going to a concert where I partied it up.  Yup. 

Surprisingly, I felt better Sunday.  Not great but better...I barely moved from the couch all day except to tend to the tomato plants for 20 minutes.  Today I went to work but they sent me home fearing I would infect the office ... but I am better.  Really, it feels like I just have a cold now.  So I will go to yoga tonight and hopefully I will lift weights and finally make it back to Victoria's class tomorrow night.  Still no running for the week at least - doctor's orders.

Lifting + Aerobics + Yoga + Sick = Stupid

Stupid.  That is how I feel.  I have been sick since Tuesday with what I thought was a sore throat...though I should have known better since Bill's been sick with a fever and cough since last week.  My sore throat has since moved to my lungs.  So what did I do yesterday?  Dig myself a nice cozy sick bed. 

First I went to the gym at break...around 2 p.m. I think.  I tried to do 20 minutes of intervals on the treadmill as a New Rules warm-up only to be sidelined after 5 minutes with a burning throat and fluid filled lungs.  I then went up to the big boy weight room  to complete Stage 3 Workout B.  This work-out seemed pretty easy....probably because I skipped the required intervals.  I felt pretty good after besides the burning throat and cough, so I thought I would try and catch a Yoga class at Revelation.  I hadn't been back to this studio since the wine tasting extravaganza and I was interested in its Internal Muscle Shift Class. 

Now, I was completely aware that this class had a cardio component...I figured this would be a fast paced vinyasa flow start similar to Victoria's class.  Boy was I wrong.  Turns out that the cardio portion was a spin on kick-boxing, step-aerobics, weight lifting and a gazillion squats.  All with yoga breathing.  For 45 minutes.  Oh, and Pilates.  Followed by 45 minutes of yoga.  Really.

I should have left.  My lungs were wheezing and I was pretty sure I was going to puke.  This is a yoga studio so no air conditioning...and I, thinking regular yoga, didn't bring any water.  Right.  Can you picture this?  But the ego, despite all I have learned in yoga, is a funny, powerful thing.  So I stayed and I gave the entire class my all.  And despite the fact that I felt like my legs were going to fall off and my lungs were going to collapse, I really enjoyed it (though I will never, ever do it again following a New Rules workout).  I also LOVED the yoga portion.  So much so that I signed up for their 1 month unlimited plan.  I'll be cutting it close to make any of the 6:30 p.m. classes but they said its cool if I am a few minutes late.  Yay!

I actually felt pretty good when I left the class despite having basically lost my voice.  So where does that leave me now?  Today is my vinyasa class with Victoria and tomorrow morning is a long run with my sister-in-law.  I know I could make it through Victoria's class...I am doubtful of the run...but I may, unfortunately have to skip both and try to get into the doctor's today. 

I hate being sick.  I hate being sick and aggravating it even more because I am too stubborn to sit out a few workouts.  I would throw in a 'lesson learned' here except that this is a behavior I repeat pretty consistently...so lets just say 'lesson noted' and leave it at that.

Prana Flow

Last night I went to a Prana Flow Class with Karendayal. Prana means breath and my style of yoga, vinyasa, is a flow yoga…so I thought they would be similar. Man was I wrong. They were similar in that there was downward dog, and low lunge, and tree … but that’s about it. There was a sense of freedom in the movement that made me uncomfortable the way laughter yoga did. I thought a lot about why that is and I have decided that I excel where there is structure. Bill is always making fun of me because I am such a rule follower – but it is so true! I like vinyasa because there are rules. One breath up, one breath down, align your hips, tuck your tail, find a focal point, go through your sun salutation, repeat. Rules.


Prana Yoga had a lack of rules. I was still supposed to be matching my breath to my movements, but this was more organic somehow. I’ve attached a link to Shiva Rea, Karendayal’s teacher, to give you an idea what I am talking about. But seriously, I looked NOTHING like this. I looked like an inflexible, breath-holding oaf. And that’s being nice.

The class was a little under 2 hours, which gave me a lot of time to notice and reflect on my discomfort. It wasn’t Karendayal or the asanas – both were great and relatively familiar. The swaying? Yeesh. That involved me having a comfort and rhythm with my breath. I have no rhythm and this week I have felt really disconnected from my body. I have been complaining to Bill all week that my rest week from lifting has left me feeling frumpy and kind of ugly. I think that this is due to feeling unproductive but I am not totally sure. Karendayal was essentially asking me to be completely comfortable in my skin and to let my body relax and flow naturally. She may as well have asked me to walk on water.

My discomfort aside, I loved the class. I loved the heat of the room, the calm of the practice, the physical work and the chanting. I felt great when I left despite all the discomfort. I have alluded to it in the past, but discomfort is necessary to grow - you gain nothing from being complacent, stagnant. I am hoping to make it to this class more, to move beyond my own discomfort, to get out of my own way and to be more comfortable in my own skin.

On a related note, Karendayal asked us at the end of practice to find something from the class to take away with us. I found forgiveness for being so hard on myself this week. More importantly, she asked us to leave something behind that we don’t need – I left ugly behind. Who needs that in their life?

Yoga Love

Sunday (after book club, a beyond-awful 2-mile-that-was-supposed-to-be-5-mile-run, gardening and grocery shopping) I giddily packed up my Intention Notebook and hit the road for Sandskirt* class.  I was mentally beat and physically tired, but I am so intrigued by this whole yoga exploration that I was totally excited ... and nervous.  I think I have mentioned previously that I am pretty new to this whole yoga thing and at Sanskrit class, generally, I am pretty sure that I am the only non-instructor there.  But I do my best to keep up.  This class went better than the last one - the last class I had no idea what was going on. The actual words and concepts that were being discussed and taught were incredibly beyond me.  But, being the good student I am, I wrote down all the words I didn't know, went home and looked them up in Light on Yoga: The Bible of Modern Yoga..., did my 'homework' of practicing Sanskrit vowels (among other things) and went to my second class feeling much more confident.  Still clueless but at least not utterly clueless.  I did not suddenly rock the Sanskrit lesson but I was comfortable and had a great experience.

 After my first class Bill asked me why I was taking Sanskrit.  I was frustrated with myself because I could not articulate why I was going or why it was important or what my ultimate goal was.  I am a goal kind of girl so this was odd ... and uncomfortable.  I was sacrificing part of a day off - a SUNDAY - and I had no idea why.  But it was important to me.  Why?

I have always had a plan.  Always.  I've set a goal, made a plan, and achieved that goal.   This is how I have lived my life.  Yoga is different.  I feel yoga not plan it.  There is no goal except to learn more, experience more.  Achieve more? I suppose that is a side effect.

Yoga is many things beyond the physical practice.  I will not pretend to know all that it is ... but it is spiritual and it is physical and it is mental.  If you are practicing the physical aspect, I think that is great.  If you have been practicing long enough that you have started to wonder what else there is, then that is fantastic.  That is where I am at - the fantastic yoga point.  Yoga Journal this month has a great article about how discovering yoga is like falling in love.  At first you are skeptical, taking it slow.  But then you are in head first.  You can't think about anything else.  You are seeking more, trying to analyze and define your relationship... it is all exciting and outlined in bright, bold colors.  That, for me right now, is the fantastic yoga point.  I am having a love affair with the entire practice and need more all the time.  Eventually this will wane into a comfort zone where yoga is a happy, comfy facet of my everyday life.  But right now, it is all-consuming.  And that is why I go to Sanskrit class.  I'm not sure why I am there but Yoga is there and so I go ... to be with my Yoga.

Run, Yoga, Wine and ... Wine?

After posting yesterday about time management, I decided to cram as much into my day as possible.  I was at work early (7:10am) and put in a non-stop day until 4:00pm when I went to the gym and pulled out a puke-inducing 20 minute speed workout on the treadmill.  I then went back to the office and finished up my work day so I could get onto the fun stuff - Yoga and Wine Tasting!!

Rob from Pops Fine Wine & Liquors in Easton, MA put on a great event with Revelation Yoga in Norton, MA.  Lets start with the yoga, shall we?

Revelation put on a 30 minute sample class with 15 minutes of Laughter Yoga and 15 minutes of Hatha Yoga.  This studio is absolutely beautiful and I thought all of the yoginis were great!

I was very excited that they were conducting a laughter yoga practice - I have seen this on various schedules and have been curious.  I have to be honest, it wasn't my thing.  But that is not to say it couldn't be your thing.  The 15 minute practice we engaged in involved making eye contact and laughing - for reasons I still cannot articulate, this made me very uncomfortable.  Generally I am fine with new people and do well in a group so I cannot explain my discomfort.  Though maybe this was part of exercise?  I would love to hear some other opinions if anyone has tried it? 

The Hatha Yoga, on the other hand, was great.  There was a real focus on deep breathing and we did a really fantastic rinsing twist of the spine.  I have been obsessed with twisting postures and breathing lately, so this was right up my alley.

I am actually considering signing on with this studio - it is close to my house, which is great.  And they are running a FANTASTIC promotion through August 18 - unlimited classes for 30 days for $50.  If you have looked into yoga classes before, you know this is a great deal. My only issue is with their schedule...its a close call with my commute so I have to think about it.  I'll keep you all posted.

Onto the wine!

I apologize for this awful picture...

After the yoga session, Pops put on a great tasting.  I think I have mentioned in the past that I go to a fair amount of wine tastings?  I have decided that I'll start sharing some of my finds!  Rob picked out some tasty, affordable, organic wines.  My favorites were from the Bonterra collection, most notably the Riesling ($12.99), which was more fruity than sweet - a fantastic summer wine!  He also had out a Dona Paula Malbec ($9.99) which I thought would be a great 'fire-pit' wine.  Overall, great tasting!

I left Revelation just in time to hit up a tasting at the Swirling Vine in Norton, MA (find them on facebook).  I  ended up buying two chardonnays from this tasting, one that I tasted and loved (MatchBook) and one that was recommended.  They're pictured below along with a dessert wine I buy at the Swirling Vine that is a steal at $10 ... AND it holds at room temperature for several weeks. (bottle previously opened and enjoyed)

All that and I was home by 8:10pm!!

Plank

Plank position.  Also known as torture.  If you are: 1) following The New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess; 2) read Runner's World Magazine; or 3) practice yoga, you are familiar with the plank position.  It sucks. It has a cousin called 'side plank' that actually sucks more.  Shall we begin?

You need strong abs to support the rest of your body.  This is fantastic for yoga movement, protecting your back when lifting and running form.  Here's a good article explaining the ab muscles and how/what they support. 

This link has a good demonstration of the weight lifting or runner's plank/side-plank.  The basic idea is that you get into a low push-up on your forearms and form a straight line from shoulders to hips.  Suck in your tummy.  Ready?  Now start singing Yankee Doodle in your head.  Oh, you have a watch?  Awesome - time that sucker.  If you are watchless like...ahmm...some people ... 60 seconds is approximately 5 to 6 Yankees Doodles 'sung' at medium to fast pace.  When I first started doing planks I was around 15 seconds.  I am now up to a few sets of 60 seconds.  And I am sure New Rules has some additional torture in my future.

Plank in yoga is a little different.  You have read me go on and on about high to low plank.  If you practice a flow based yoga, you are very familiar with it.  Want a link?  You got it - You start in high plank and lower into low plank.  This movement is repeated numerous times during many of my practices and helps to reset the flow - but it takes ab muscle to support the movement.  For me, this is actually way harder than a runner's plank as it requires more arm strength...I have to drop to my knees to make it to low plank.  Here is the side plank variation, which I also have yet to master.

Why this lengthy post on plank?  Because my abs feel like they are trying to rip away from my musculature system at the moment ... Thanks New Rules.  But I know that when I head out for my run this afternoon and when I (hopefully) make it to yoga tonight, all this added core support will be worth this gut wrenching pain.

Breathe

Awhile back, Valentines weekend actually, Bill and I made a discovery.  I can hold my breath waaayyyyyyyyyy longer than he can.  For whatever wine-induced, basketball-watching reason, we started having breath holding contests.  I kicked his butt over and over again ... at which point he admitted that not only was he losing, but he was cheating and losing!  At the time he was training for a marathon and had great lung capacity.  I was running 20 miles a week - max.  What was the deal?

Yoga.  Of course.

A major part of practicing yoga is controlling your breath.  Part of the idea behind vinyasa yoga - the type of yoga I (mostly) practice - is based on moving with your breath.  Stand up on the inhale, fold on the exhale, half-way lift on the inhale, high to low plank on all one exhale, updog on inhale, downdog on the exhale.  And on and on.  When I first started 'taking' yoga I ignored the breath - all I cared about was making it through the moves.  I was taking three inhales/exhales for every one inhale ... basically I was panting my way through practice.  It wasn't until much later in my practice that I started focusing on flowing through the postures with control of and in time with my breath.

I write all this now because over the last few days I have had fantastic connection with and control of my breath.  Remember that 5K I just ran?  Never winded - I felt in control of my breath the whole time - only my legs and my fear were holding me back.  Yesterday I went for a run before Victoria's class.  Again, not winded.  As I settled into class I set the intention of presence, specifically to be present in my breath.  We started in child's pose and I was easily inhaling for 10 count, exhaling for 11 count.  As we went through the practice I felt I was pretty steady in keeping an inhale for 5 count exhale for 6 count.  And yes, I do actually count my breath as I move through practice.

I was so thankful to be present and focused on my breath.  It was such a release after last weeks string of disaster practices.  Even now, writing this hours after practice, I feel calm, peaceful and in control.  To breathe is a wonderful thing.

Failed Body Failed Mind

For the past week I have been simultaneously complaining about and ignoring a sore wrist. It has been sore and tender since last Tuesday (and, to be honest, the week before but that has not stopped me from lifting heavy with it, fitting in 3 or so hours of yoga propped up on it and typing with it. But Thursday night, as I moved through a gentle lunar flow practice, I knew I was out of luck for Friday’s class with Victoria. There was no way I was getting from half-way lift to low plank on this baby.

I went to class anyway intending to get through the whole practice. Because I’m like that.

But I am also honest and for some reason I told Victoria about the wrist. Regardless of my telling her, it would have been pretty obvious as I was the only yoga-jerk grimacing through my first chaturanga. After briefly questioning me about my pain, Victoria noted to the class that “Anyone” (i.e.yoga-jerks too ego-driven to do what’s good for them) with a wrist injury should skip High-to-Low plank and go right to downward dog. I really like downward dog. And I actually really struggle with High-to-Low plank. And normally I would have loved this excuse, but because I had to take the dog instead of the plank, I was mad at myself. Really angry. The whole practice. Which completely destroys the point.

I have been working diligently at not letting my mind dictate my thoughts and this week I failed.  I failed at  Tuesdays class - though I didn't post about it - because I was angry with a co-worker and could not let it go.  I failed at Fridays class because I could not accept my injury and I could not accept a modified flow.  I failed because when I was unable to control my body, I was equally unable to control my mind.  This week has shown me how far I have to go.  It has also shown me that anger is by far my most powerful emotion and the one I need most to understand and master.  This week has also shown me that I need to understand that a bad practice is not a failure, but a lesson.

Meditative Running (or lack thereof)

Meditative running is running with a focus on breath instead of thoughts - think meditating and running, yoga and running.  I was first introduced to this idea by my sister, followed up a day later by Runner's World Magazine.  You would think that this would be a natural fit for me.  I (kind of) like running and I like yoga, and I have been toying with the idea of meditation.  So today, months after I heard about meditative running, I decided to give it a go (I forgot my ipod at home).  My four lunchtime miles progressed as follows:

First .5:  Wow - Meditative running.  This is going to be great.  Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.  Hill.  I hate this hill.  I should write a blog post about how walking up hills is like child pose.  I fact, I like child pose.  I'll walk.

Second .5: Meditate.  Focus on the breath.  In one, two, three, four. Out, one, two...boy, my breath sure is shaky.  I wonder if its always this shaky.  Car.

Second Mile:  Okay, screw the breath.  Let the thoughts wash in and out...thats meditating too, right?  (I then proceeded to draft about 8 blog posts in my head).

Third Mile:  I hope Bill wants chicken sausage for dinner on Friday...I hope I get to go to that yoga class Thursday...That means I'll have to go wine tasting on Friday instead...I could get wine to go with the chicken sausage!

Last Mile:  Downhill!  Thank God.  Oh, meditating.  Right.  Maybe if I work on finding mountain pose in my stride.  Breathe innnnnnn, breathe ooouuuuttttt, breathe innnnnnn, breathe ouuuuuuuttttttt.  Lift up, mountain pose.  Why are my arms so tired? Shade!

Home stretch: I cannot wait to write about how peaceful and meditative that run was!!

In truth, that is a pretty accurate description of my attempt at meditative running.  And in fact, besides the hills and cars, it is also similar to what my mind does in yoga practice.  Finding stillness in your mind is no easy task.  But it is the coming back to it, the constant practice at quiet, at silence, that is so fulfilling, so peaceful.

Also, if you do run and you do  practice yoga, try applying mountain pose to your stride.  I felt like it gave me a lighter step.  Or it could have been the downhill.

Food

As promised, the food post.  I originally thought this was going to be entitled the "Diet" post, but in the end I have decided that it is about food, what my thinking is about it, and how much I like it.  If you prefer to refer to that as a diet, that's cool with me.

After undergrad, when I first got serious about re-losing all the weight I had regained, I turned to Weight Watchers.  This worked really well for me - I think I lost something around 60 pounds.  I was also running a lot.  And I was fueling those runs with 100 calorie snack packs, fat free bologna and cheese with fat free American cheese singles on light wonder bread.  And baby carrots.  Oh how I loathed those stupid carrots.  That was pretty much my diet.  It took the weight off, but was it healthy?  It really is no wonder that when I tried to switch back to normal food and upped the stress level in my life, I started to gain the weight back. No one should try and live off of fat free whatever with a side of flavored air with preservatives.  But if you had told me that at the time, I would have shoved my weight loss in your face and laughed. 

When I decided to get in shape again, I decided to do it differently.   I had started really getting into my yoga practice and began thinking about what I was putting into my body.  This wasn't an overnight thing - I did not get up one morning and throw out the hostess cupcakes and fiber one bars.  But slowly, over time, I found myself wanting to revamp my eating habits to include foods that would give me sustained energy and fit the lifestyle I was trying to cultivate.  Mind you, I hate the word 'lifestyle' almost as much as I hate the word 'journey" and am trying to use them as little as possible...in this case though, lifestyle is probably the correct word to use.  I will NOT use the word 'journey'.  I started eating Chia Seeds 5 Pounds (Chemical Free), which are a great source on Omega- Threes and steady blood sugar.  I started buying whole foods instead of processed.  I made it a goal when shopping to buy the product with the least amount of ingredients, despite the brand.  I also switched to sardines as my favorite choice of lunch time protein, due to how economical they are, how calcium rich they are, and again the content of Omega-Threes.  Finding calcium rich foods also became important because, around the same time all of this was happening, I decided to start limiting dairy.  It started as an experiment, but now I feel so much better without it that I am on soy and almond milk only.  This is not a hard and fast rule - I am still eating ice cream occasionally, cheese is good...though I have switched to soy yogurt.  I just feel better without it.  The all- natural thing is not hard and fast either.  Preservatives happen....just not as much as they used to.

I would also like to talk about fat.  Fat along with veggies and protein are the bases of my diet now.  When (if) you decide to read   The New Rules of Lifting for Women: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess, please pay attention to the section on fats.  Also, I have been reading The Fat Fallacy: The French Diet Secrets to Permanent Weight Loss and though it sounds gimmicky and almost embarrassing, I like the ideas on fat and portions.  Basically, I am not avoiding fats in my diet.  Or, at least, I am not avoiding non-animal fats.  Bring on the olive oil, avocado and nut butters, I say.  Coconut? Yes please.

Veggies and protein.  My basic idea about these two is, get as much as you can.  I include fruit in the veggie category be default...I just prefer veggies, but I am trying to increase my fruit intake.  I have a hard time fitting in as much protein as I would like, but I make a mindful effort to include it in every snack and meal.  I fail frequently.  Veggies however - no problem.  Yesterday, for instance, I managed to consume spinach, berries, an entire bunch of kale, grated carrots, corn and papaya.  Love veggies. 

I guess next you are asking "where are the carbs?"  Rest assured, there are plenty of carbs, I just do not really focus on whether or not I am getting them.  I don't care.  By default, I get plenty in my diet.  I eat crackers.  And oatmeal.  And sweet potatoes.  And corn. And so forth and so on.  I love pizza.  I like bread.  I do not have these things every day, but when I do I am not concerned.  Carbs are not evil but they are certainly not the focal point of my diet either.  They are just there.

And I still loathe baby carrots.

Kayaking (and yoga)

I interrupt the promised food/diet post for this post on kayaking.  My boyfriend Bill and I decided to go kayaking today, despite the storm-threatening weather.  We just got kayaks (mine on loan) this past spring and it has turned into one of my favorite activities, mostly because of the absolute peace I feel on the water, but also because it is one of the few activities that he and I can do together.  For the most part, Bill is much more physically able than I am - he lifts heavier, runs faster, hikes longer, golfs (MUCH) better.

I am, however, pretty sure I could yoga-kick his butt.

This discrepancy in our physical abilities makes outdoor activities together somewhat difficult.  In our kayaks though, we are even.  This is due in large part to the fact  that my kayak is simply better, which allows me to paddle less and keep up with him...its like a built in handicap.  There is something really fulfilling about kayaking together across our local reservoir, stopping whenever we feel like it, taking whatever route sounds good, visiting whichever island looks inviting.  Today as we raced across the water trying to beat what we thought was a forming storm, the water splashing into my kayak and the wind blowing strong, I could not have been happier.

Then there is the peace of being on the water.  The absolute stillness that comes over me as I am gliding across the water.  Being out there is truly soothing and it allows my mind to wander and be calm in the same way yoga does - thoughts come and go, but nothing lingers long enough for me to dwell on it or try and solve it.  I love when the kayak is in a calm area and going strong - I particularly like paddling into the wind because it makes me feel like I am going faster, flying across the water.  But I also love when we stop and just float, chat a little.  These breaks are stolen moments that I rarely observe in every day life.  Each day we go and go and go and rarely stop to just be quiet together.  It is a fantastic peace.

* * *

On a somewhat unrelated note, as I prepare for a brief practice this afternoon, I am excited to share with you my new yoga journal!!

Whenever I start a new practice I set an intention.  Just one - peace, forgiveness, calm, focus, or whatever else I feel my soul is lacking at the moment.  I am interested in using this journal to write down what my intention is each day, to see if there is a pattern, to see what the result is.  I also plan on using this journal for my Sanskrit class - we actually have homework!  Since I am learning to not only say but write the Sanskrit alphabet, a fancy journal seems necessary... or at least better than the scraps of paper I used last class.

Yoga

I think that this post - or at least the ideas contained in it - are the whole reason I started this blog.  Basically I have become obsessed with my yoga practice and I am not really sure what to do about it other than practice my postures more, learn more, and try to practice yoga in my everyday life. 

I started taking yoga classes in March 2009.  I'm using the word 'taking' because at the time I did not think of it as a practice, but as a class at my gym.  I had a great yogini Victoria who was really asking my body to hold postures and use arm strength that was completely foreign to me.  I liked the physical workout, so I kept going back.  After awhile I became aware that she was teaching my mind and my soul as much as, if not more than, my body.  

Yoga, for me, is about presence.  Being present in everyday life, in each individual moment.  Back when I was 'taking' yoga, Victoria started speaking to us about being present on our mats.  About how we needed to quiet our minds and focus on what was happening right there, right then, on our mats.  On  my mat.  She talked about how all of those conversations we were rehashing in our heads were in the past.  All the tasks ahead that we were dreading were in the future, and in the present - the right now - we could not do anything about them.  Dwelling on the past and the future was wasted energy.  This whole thought process was entirely new to me and, really, rather life changing.  I mentioned before that I listen to books on tape when I run.  Its true, I like the stories, but the main reason I listen to them is to drown out my thoughts.  Listening to music doesn't help - my mind just shouts over the songs.  Quieting my mind has proven to be a difficult task - a task that I didn't know existed until I began to practice yoga.  Now, when I get on my mat, I focus on my breathing.  When a thought comes in about something other than what is happening on my mat, I observe it and tell it goodbye.  I have started applying this practice  to work as well.  Tell me, how can you possibly accomplish one task effectively when your mind is trying to focus on five different thoughts?  Learning to be present is difficult but worth it.

Along with my super deep yoga thoughts above, I have been trying to expand my yoga practice through knowledge.  I read Light on Yoga: The Bible of Modern Yoga... It was so over my head it is laughable. I am taking a Sanskrit class with this lovely yogini.  Mind you, when I first signed on for it, I told people I was taking "sandskirt" class.  I am as ignorant as one could be.  I had to google it.  I still am not sure exactly what I am learning, or why.   I am also learning to chant and I feel silly.  But it feels right.   Which is a good thing - I am certainly not in a rush to learn all there is to yoga - I am being present in my current practice, wherever that may lead.